World's Faire Experience - Lisa

1904 World's Faire

Today I have been assigned to do a health inspection of the booths at the 1904 World's Faire. Judging from the packed streets and unsanitary mannerisms of the people here, I am not expecting much.

Booth 1: Automobiles Advancements of the 19th Century- Sam, Alex, and Avi
Upon stepping into the city, I was absolutely appalled by the sheer amount of smog spewing out from the automobiles here. Apparently, it is from the coal and oil consumption or something like that, but it is highly unappealing. Back in my hey day, we never had these clunky contraptions, but with the sudden boom in the automobile industry, everything has changed. Fortunately, only the wealthier classes own these automobiles otherwise the entire city would be covered in those ugly masses of dark smoke. Just yesterday, I was almost hit by a hooligan riding one of those "motorcycles".

Public Safety: F-

Booth 2: Food- Lucas, Christy, Alex
But don't even get me started on the food here. Children, with their noses running with the snot from a bad cold and their hands covered in the dirt from the streets, tearing apart at something called "cotton candy" one filthy handful at a time. This repulsive, germ-inducing "cotton candy" is new this year and was introduced by a man named John Wharton. Nice work, John Wharton, nice work. Encouraging the spread of viral bacteria from one grubby kid's hand to the next. I did, however, enjoy a "hot dog", although holding it with my bare hands made me want to puke.

Food Protection: D-

Booth 3: On Explosive Chemistry, Rats, and Pyrotechnic Warfare - Jocelyn, Allison 
Next I visited the Explosive Chemistry, Rats, and Pyrotechnic Warfare booth, or what I like to call the Booth of Death. Before I could even introduce myself, I was greeted with a threatening frenzy of fireworks which caused me to fall onto my behind. Scarred from that humiliating experience and put off by the thought of rats being used as weapons, I stormed out of the booth with the tiny shred of dignity I still had.

Public Safety: Must be evicted.

I did find refuge in the art exhibit among the paintings of Monet, but other than that I was joyous to leave that atrocious nightmare.